i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
