Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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