I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
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I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
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We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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