She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Dicks are not precious.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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