Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
