oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize