Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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