I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize