I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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