So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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