He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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