he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
