I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
