I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
