I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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