Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
he wants to bone in the snuggie
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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