Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!