i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
