Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
