I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
