Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
