just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
