he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
