I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
How many fucks given?
0.12846
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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