I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's shark week go big or go home
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
