he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
