70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
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I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
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On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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