i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize