Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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