That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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