Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
