it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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