Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
