I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think I am morally bankrupt
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
