HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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