I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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