I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
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