I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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