Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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