the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
