Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
