he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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