you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
