spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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