Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
