don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
