im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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