Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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