So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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