i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize