'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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