Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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