you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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