Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
