You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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