i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
