This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
