thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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